HOW 7 MONTHS OF UNEMPLOYMENT SAVE ME

Before I start my story, let me tell you something previously before I end up unemployed. It was not easy for me to share this because I always try to hide and keep to myself but life is short and you only live once.  

February 2013

It was on my 7^th semester in Universiti Teknologi Malaysia. I was pressured by my fellow smart friends. They had jobs offer during their 6^th semester. It was really depressing moment for me because I need to catch up academically as well in career. So what I did is during this career fair in the campus, I send my resumes like perhaps 90% of the total representatives of companies that attended the fair. I really need a job. Why, am I that bad? That questions always triggered my mind. Final year project is another problem. My supervisor, an Iranian left me on my own with only the guidance of master student (help me a lot) and an emergency supervisor at  almost 2 weeks before FYP presentation. This gives me a really stressful environment. Too many things to handle, so little time.

Exam week (May 2013)

My mind finally focus on exam rather than the FYP that supposed to be submitted after final exam. It was few days before another exam took place, I got a call from an unknown number.

Operator: Hello, may I speak to Mr Matthias Michel please?

Me: Yes? This is Matthias speaking. May I know who is on the phone?

Operator: I’m Ms. June (not a real name) calling from Baker Hughes.

There the conversation goes. This is the starting point where I got my career as a Field Engineer under Wireline Dept. Responsible to give valuable report to the clients’ geologist to further elaborate on the logs. Wireline logs that value of more than hundred thousands, to keep the wireline business running and to improve economic especially in oil and gas sector. We are the first line of defence, that know how the life of the well. Starting from exploration of oil, in which seismic operation is used, the drilling of the well, evaluation of cement and drilling mud, evaluation of casing, and finally the production (oil and gas being extracted for good use). Sorry if I miss some of the main points.

I was trained in Scotland as a Cased Hole Engineer, to learn specifically in ballistic operation. Ballistic operation which involve the use of dangerous explosives. It was a happy moment in a chill cold Scotland. And I really do appreciate every little time in Scotland.

Group photo during BOSS course in Montrose, Scotland

So, I back to Malaysia for some exposure. Been to a rig like ENSCO 106, ENSCO 105, ENSCO 8504, and also drill ship (for deep sea oil exploration) like Tungsten. These are the names of location I had been into.

April 2014.

I leave Malaysia to a sandy Arab land in Dubai in UAE. I was registered to attend and learned how to deal with radioactive tools. Thus since if you are wondering, I am a qualified RPS (Radiation Protection Supervisor) and registered under AELB a.k.a Atomic Energy Licensing Board Malaysia. So I am eligible to work with radioactive materials. In this case at least a dummy source and a real source use for  training purposes. This is getting more interesting as I draw you to the main topic. 

I failed the school due to some difficulties and unfocussed mind. It is not because I don’t study. I do. Even my own classmates bring me to study together, I seem to refused their offer. Not because I don’t want to, but I feel I am lagging behind, can’t cope with the speed of the lecturer. Friends seems getting far away from me. And I started to withdraw myself from them. With a passing mark of 80% at last, the result prove the real me. A three consecutives failure means there is no reason for me to stay in the training program. Thus I returned to Malaysia, alone. With the total of 8 hours in flight, I wonder what my boss will said to me. A failure, stupid and idiot guy. I am so upset with myself. I don’t know where to put my face in front the operators due to such failure. When I decided to resign, I leave quietly. Not many people know that I choose the path to give up. I give up. I really do.

It was early May and I was supposed to attend my own postpone convocation, but I did not. At last, I didn’t even have the chance to take a scroll for the 4 years of study in uni. No robe, no laughter and meeting friends, no moment of celebration for me. It was a sad day for me. This is the story of how it started on how I try to build myself up from the deepest pit of failure (that what I always assume that I am far worse than my fellow classmates).

It was a depressing moments for me. Friends from campus keep on asking me and the conversation always will start like this:

“Hey Matt! How are you? How’s work? I heard you are working with a big company, travelled around the world. Saw your pictures on Facebook. It seems that you are happy with your life.”

I am nervous at least for once. My body is shaking and if possible there is a mask, I would like to hide it. So my conversation is always trying to cover something about it. Starting from that moment, I deactivate my account on Facebook, no return of call and text, friends asking for a simple hangout I refused to go. At least Franco brought me to a youth camp in Bunan Gega that time. It was not an easy thing to decide.

I brave myself up doing thing to keep myself busy. Playing DOTA2, helping Norman with blacksmith works while build up my skill. Norman is my best friend since secondary school. He teach me how to operate tools like chainsaw, grinder, belt grinder, using hammer and anvil, chop wood using axe and how to make full use of the free time. Until the time I was called by my friend Luke to joined him as a kayak guide.

I really do cherish the moment kayaking with them. I was happy to paddle while talking and listening to stories from other parts of the world. No one judge you as a failure and learned a lot of life advises as well. It was Bukuok Blacksmith and Semadang Kayak that really help me to forgive myself and pick myself up back to the track of hope. I would like to thank them for everything that I had learned and I do owe them a big thank you.

So this is a story of a 24 year old guy coming to 25 this year that still find the meaning of life. Life without money is impossible of course but life is more valuable than money. Money cannot give true happiness but life does. Every person will not always on top of the world, sometimes they fall hard like me, perhaps harder. But not to give up quickly and to pick yourself up is the key to success. God bless everyone. 

Here are some pictures during my last day of kayaking in 2014. It was 31st December 2014. 

To those interested for kayaking, don't forget to watch this promotional video.